Monday, April 13, 2009

I know, I know, I have neglected the blog

I always forget the pics upload at the top. I always do it wrong. Stinks!! Oh well, I know that is what you all like checking out the most anyways. LOL So here ya' go.

Chelsea on her 4th birthday wearing her capri's I knit her and a shirt I had a WAHM make to match. Samuel's new Bloo Kangaroo carrier I just got. It is soooooooooo comfortable. I love it. He is asleep in this picture. He feel asleep literally within 20 seconds of wearing him on my back this day. I think he loves it too! :)

The big 4 year old Squirt!!
Chelsea has been eyeballing this Dragonfly balloon ever since her friend Ava got one at her b-day party. Who knew a balloon could bring so much happiness, she was in giddy balloon heaven.

so much to do, so little time. Who reads this thing anyway??? Is it merely only an internet page for me to randomly spill my gut out?? (guess that's why I chose the title) Heck who knows, but for those few who peek at it here ya' go!! we have had birthdays, out of state relatives, the flu. I have been knitting, still deeply yearning for my car. I almost about can't scroll down on the blog and see the pictures, it hurts too bad still. I loathe seeing other new dodge durango's and the elk have certain lost their appeal to me. I just about curse them when I drive by a herd. I need a job. I am seriously considering taking some classes at the college so that I can start working my way to be a labor and delivery nurse. I really would love to be a surrogate mom but Mike thinks I am CRAZY and is totally against it. The only things that hold me back are the fear of if I needed to be on bedrest, no I could handle that. But what if I had to be hospitalized and miss watching my children grow and who would watch them? I can not even bare the thought of someone else raising my kids, even if it is temporary. And then there is the fear of the unthinkable. We won't say it out loud, but you all know there are risks in pregnancy!!! So, with that being said I would like to get my body back to it's regular size and I suppose I should focus on that. but does the love for babies and pregnancy ever go away. If I had $ I 's have more. But of course then there is a side of me that is looking forward to the day I can sit and not worry where and what someone is doing, where I do not have to be on the edge of my seat and actually hold an adult converstation with someone and not be interupted a million times. That brings me to another subject. LIFE!! I really have this need to live again. I really want to be reincarnated into another human, a beautiful, rich woman so that I can bare children again and LIVE. I really enjoy life. It is so beautiful. I feel like I am getting older and there is sooooooooooo much I wanna do and I feel like there is so little time!!!! Okay, that is enough rambling for today. Here's some pics!! The whole reason you all like visiting when you do!!! ABOVE. I edited wrong and if I take the time to fix it I will never post. So sorry for it being all backwards. But isn't that life these days. Sheesh!!!
*** Wow, I should definately proof read ever psot before I publish it. LOL It sounds like I am really morbid or depressed saying I want to live again as if I meant now, like I am asking for a "do over". (did you get that impression, lol) No what I meant was that I like living so much, I want to continue that route. I know one day my body will give out, I just wish there was some kind of certainty that I get to do it again. I mean, I really like "living". I want to be a child, marry, have children again. I feel like at almost 40, it has all clicked. The importance of it all. I recognize it, appreciate it and now I want to enjoy this state longer. Make sense???